Education at The State Fair

That chill is back in the air, that slant in the afternoon sun, and that smell of cotton candy and corn dogs means the State Fair has come back to town. I never get over the friends that shake their heads when I’m talking about the fair. They haven’t been in years. Or never go at all. It’s just a carnival.

That shocks me. And as my grandmother used to say, I stare at them like they’ve grown three heads. The State Fair has been a yearly part of my life since... well... the beginning part of my life. And this year rather than simply paying hundreds of dollars for the treat of walking through a parking lot, eating tons of deep fried and sugar coated food, and watching at least half our party toss it back up after riding the Tilt-A-Whirl, I was helped out by this year’s State Fair slogan. Celebrate and Educate. Now it isn’t just an evening of fun, it’s a genuine learning experience for my family. Like taking continuing ed.

So I have been scrubbing out my new car, getting it ready for our Friday trip to the Fair. Every true Fair-Goer knows that you have to go on the first weekend. That is when all the animals are still there. By the second weekend, the animals are gone, and the Fair just isn’t the same. While I was scrubbing I was thinking of past Fair activities that I would use again this year to utilize the educational theme. Although, I have always treated every family outing as an invaluable learning experience.

One year while strolling through the many beautifully curried rows of sheep, my mother reached over and scratched a friendly sheep’s head. "Wow!" she exclaimed. "This feels just like wool!" Shaking my head, I realized that I was the brainy one of the bunch. I explained that it was just sheep hair and that everyone knows only sweaters are made of wool. My poor mother. How public educations have improved since her own schooldays.

And my yearly favorite purchase is a giant, deep fried, cinnamon coated elephant ear. After sharing a few bites with my daughter, I always bring her by the elephant pen to show her where the elephant ears are harvested. Of course, the State Fair always makes sure that the elephants on display in the zoo still have their ears intact. It would confuse the children in identifying elephants in their textbooks if they put elephants on display that had already had their ears deep fried.

As a family, our favorite place to eat supper is the Cattleman’s Kitchen. It is run by cattlemen and serves delicious steak sandwiches. Located right across from the livestock barns, I always like to eat their because I know my sandwich is fresh. All one has to do is inhale, and the smell of the barns reminds one and all of the close presence of live steak. Sometimes if it smells too present, all must inspect their shoes to make sure livestock droppings were not brought into the dinner barn with you. It can happen. And is supposed to be seven years good luck if it does.

Of course, the haunted house is still a major attraction on the way out of the midway. Although growing up a chicken, I never bring my kids into it. But I teach them the value of not forcing friends into things past their comfort zone. Being forced through it a few times, I was scared out of my skin, causing a violent reaction of pushing and shoving to get the heck away from all those monsters. This doesn’t go well with state and city laws, and remembering to never to solve problems with violence is a worthwhile lesson to learn. When one does resort to violence against monsters, it provides and instantaneous lesson on the interior of a police car, Miranda rights, and also the bail bonding and legal system. It’s better just to stay outside sometimes.

And then the final stop at the Fair is the infamous pig races. Then we can all learn about the different speeds of different pigs. We can learn about bacon. And my children can be told for the umpteenth time about their mother’s day in the sun when she was chosen from the crowd to be Pig #3's cheerleader. How she got to wave a flag and belt out "Give me a "P!" Give me an "I!" "Give me a "G!" Everyone learned to spell. While celebrating. Both right in line with this year’s theme.